A good nine months of planning and organising all counting down to one day!
But as it happens I'm not just counting down to The Ball much as it means so much to me it's also THAT day, the date forever etched into my heart and soul. The day I woke up not knowing that my life was about to change forever and not in a good way.
I'd give anything to turn back time, to change the course of events that led to me counting down to the 9th of February every year. It was and always will be out of my control, repeatedly I ask why me, why us, why him?
This is the day my heart shattered and I lost of a piece of it forever!
This picture is one of the last pictures of Alexander by himself that I have, a moment frozen in time, captured by my Dad at his house 6 years and 6 days ago. One of my many regrets is that I didn't take more of them together and separately. I have learned my lesson I am Mrs snap happy nowadays, my iPhone is constantly in my hand ready to capture every little moment of our lives and I love that everyone is the same. I love photos, seeing the change in my boys over the course of time and I love that they are so accessible not just for me but my family and friends and the moments we have shared together over the years.
So as I hurtle towards the 9th, when I want to run away, bury my head in the pillow and wail I am going to be standing in front of 302 people who are there in memory of my son. A boy they may never have met but who made enough of an impact in his death that they want to make a difference somehow.
Thank You to my boys who give me the strength and courage to carry on daily and my husband who keeps me propped up, I'm not sure we ever say it out loud enough but I Love You dearly you are my life.
Here's to Alexander Robert Richardson Aged 17 months forever !